IRC-Galleria

ack still fucking here...
i think i might kill and eat a chinese cuse i'm staving.
its really kinda scary soemtimes. mainly when i'm in the shops cause i'm not kidding when i say the people here almost crawl... there are so so so soooo many people all you see is a sea of black heads soem times... i have been hiding in some chairs watching cartoons... mazingly in english!
thank god.
but other the then that... my night muffin D': i had to eat it in one bite... one whole bite because they would not let me take it past customs... bastards... thatw as going to be my dinner so now.. now i'm hungry again...
i actually ran into some fins here, really nice boy he was.. and on my plane from finland there were a few other australians... but i dindt talk to them, because the way they talk makes my ears bleed DX.
i wonder how long i can get away with being on this computer. it didnt matter last time i was here on my way to finland.. cause i was here at like 4 in the morning... not much compitition... infact.. none, i was the only person walking around... like some kind of freak.
i miss showers already. i miss water and the snow.. yeah.. i miss the snow! its pretty... when its not dirty i guess....
i miss tiia and my bed and capi and her cookings <3
i miss minja and mira and mert.. my tresures...
i cant wiat for mira to come, i'm scard i'll get depressed agian in australia and not want to come... but if she comes and gets me i'm sure to come back... who knows, maybe... unlikely... i can finda boy to bring back.....
....
...
..
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right.

AHHH i'm so bored... i wi some one was here to talk with me... cause its so lonely and boring and now they have opened the windows and its cold and i have taken my tights off... so all the asians can look at my white girl legs XP
but if i dont wear somehting cool now... i will die! in australia!!!
ehh Australia...
great...
i want to come home to Oulu... i want my other half...

so like.. yep in hong kong... i hate it...
people looking at me funny ways... and some saying things to me... i dont think its in a "hi how are you welcome to our country" more like "hey... white girl, come show me your white girl parts" D:

so yeah anyway...
i'm still not happy. i have been misrable ever since i said good bye to mert at the bus, mira cried all over me.. and then we cried agian at the air port when the people would not let her pass.

and then i had to wait forever...

AND THEN.. because my shoes where the shoes of death i took them off and walk in the air port with no shoes... bad idea taryn! because then we had to get on a bus.. and then they took us to the middle of no where, and then we had to walk on the road where the planes where and then i had to clime cold steel steeps.... in my tights/stockings!!!!

whoo...
i miss you guys...
i hope this goes fast....
please... i KNOW you wont forget me, you didnt for 9 months and this is only 6... but dont forget to keep in contact... or i feel even more lonely then ever before!!!

i love you guys so much.

BTW... ahhhh... my plane is not till like.. 11:45pm!!!!!!!!
so yay... lots of time for taryn to look at things she cant have anyway

yay so like i'm totally loving Helsinki!
the shopping is great i went to all the best stores.. i loved it in ivanhelsinki! and that other place that mert was talking about that akseli took me too. he said as soon as he saw my coths he was like... oh i know where you are going to want to go and when mrt was telling me to go i was not really listening cause i was so tired and so annoyed and sore and just in a bad mood... i spent like hours crying on mira when were were waiting for akseli to come and get me so yeah...
i had been pretty misrable yesterday
oh lol... walking around helsinki today... i dindt need to ring Hiu.... i ran into her. what to think, the chance of seeing hiu randomly while here... cool huh?
anyway onight i'm going to DTM with mira, Hiu, Akseli and anna, and some other people too i might think. and then tomorrow i shall get up early so that i can njoy my time in finland with my best friends before i have to be torn away back to horrible australia,... ok australia is not that bad... but no Mira's and merts and no tiia or minja... ahh my life is over... who is going to walk around shopping with me holding my and.. hat am i going to do with out my mert glove/jacket? die i should think...
so yeah.. .i hve to be at the airport by at LEAST 3:00 pm... so i will be leaving like... 2-ish i hould think so...
bugger
i dont wanna go ) :
i dont think i would like living in helsinki... it just feels.... weird... i dont know. i have never been bothered by big cities, after all i would move to adelaide in a heart beat in Australia.. but there is somehting about helsinki that is not... home... i like shopping here... but nothing else i think.
hahahahah Akseli brought me cafe moca.. Oulu is better XP
i have promised when i have own apartment he is going to come to oulu for a few days to judge oulu agaist helsinki moca... i'm so going to win this bahahahahah XP

HEY!
everyone, while i'm gine, just remember me with this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1ekMbPe300
because its all me just listen to the song and you'll remember me <3<3<3<3

ah what to say. one i should not be up this time of the day... but i cant sleep because i feel like i might throw up. i'm so mistable to be leaving, i'm scared. i dont want to go, i'm scared .. i wont come back. i keep thinking... so why are you coming to finland taryn? friends.. yes of cause, but u have them in australia... cant be work thats easier in australia by far as if the language living housing.. and just life. My life would be so easy if i lived in australia. went to uni and got agood job. But... i'm not happy there.
here. my life is so stressful and challanging... never boring.. ish XP
there are special people here in finland who keep luring me back and some one who once i'm here makes me want to stay. but... my reasons are being removed... every ones leaving here... i dont know if i want to be here if i have to be alone, but i dont want to hold anyone back because i would hate them if they did it to me.
time has gone so fast, and i feel like i havent acheived everything i set about to do... but i guess i shall have to try again. i'm not the kind of person to give up, the more i'm told no, the more i desprately want it to the point of causing myself pain to get it.
i met a girl from the USA who was only 23 and had a duel passport with finland so she coild live in both places. thats what i want.
i feel really small and weak.
i hate feeling weak, my dad makes me feel weak and i hate it so passionately. i'm not weak
i dont know many people who can take the kind of emotional slap to the face like i can, or a phisical one for that matter.
i really cant handle this... i'm so scared, but i ant say it, oly write it cause again, i dont wanna whine and bitch like a crazy cow.
i miss you so much already... and i havent even taken a step off the ground. it's like i'm leaving half of me behind, like i just ripped my soul from my body and left it in my waking shadow as i leave nothing but foot prints behind me.
poetic beauty huh? told u i did english as a major... or as i just an emo.. only time shall tell.
i fel crushed... in so many ways.



on another note. my friends fixed.. i think some issues they were having. all my friends are .. with some one. its so nice to see every one so happy, i wish i could have that too.
ah and of cause i have been spoilt with the COOLEST gifts. i think i should come and leave more often :3

you guys have no idea how important you are to me.
please... i know you wont forget me.. but dont forget that i'm missing you and working hard to come back... when i hear from you guys... it makes my day and reminds me what i'm fighting for.

ok.
Action a'la Taryn.

wednesday:-
23:55- train to helsinki

thursday:-
8:37- arrive in helsinki.

Friday:-
must investigate DTM and know what the fuck every one is on about

Saturday:-
plane leaves at 16:00 i think... or about that time, so i have to be there like.. 14:30 or 15:00 at the latest.

Sunday:-
woot lets flew... and spend 15 hours in hong kong... yay ... NOT! i will get on the net here

Monday:-
i'm back in australia in my town by the afternoon, so like...ther is now about a 7 hours time jump between fin and Aust. i time travelled. so when u guys have lunch at 12:00. i will be having dinner at 19:00 >XP

ohhhh god what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkvLlY7SkUc&feature=related

D= the horror!!!!!!!!!!!

11 days... thats all i have left in finland... and its killing me inside. i try not to talk about it with people, but it keeps coming out of my mouth, i cant help it its all thats on my mind. and even worse... i only have 3 days left in Oulu.
i dont know how i'm going to manage a second time in Australia... i was so lonely and depressed last time, i dont want to go back to that. i love my family, and australian friends i do, but... i'm so misrable there... i dont wnat to go back, i cant stand it. when i was in australia everything was so different and i hated it, i couldnt find myself there... and being gone from finland for so long, when i came back... every one had changed, and i'm terrified...
that i'll end up alone in both worlds.

me and any other friend who wants to come are going to Onnela on thursday this week because its cheapper to get in and its kinda like my going away party ish for my friends in oulu who cant come say good bye in Helsinki. so yeah
come get drunk with me i only have 10 days left in the country before i have to suffer at least 6 months back in australia >XP

oh god i love this man!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnrFSfZ0T_I

and his new songs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCEDG9kvRtE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBnihNlc-vI&NR=1
i mean how can you not love him, he so adorable and has the most insane voice and lyrics!!!